In chapter two of Discipline the Mark of Maturity, Richard S. Taylor points out several truths about the Christian and the temptations of marriage. I am choosing to be careful with what is written so that this blog is not blocked unnecessarily. But to sum up his thoughts, let me say that it is clearly the duty of each individual to keep himself pure no matter what the situation. That means no matter how one's mate responds, or what one's relationship is to a person of the opposite gender, the Christian must discipline himself/herself to be under control.
The married Christian worker who is ever alert to the perils which beset him, and is self-disciplined always in look and word and action, will not ignite fires which he will have to fight feverishly to put out. (p. 32)
It is the duty of every believer to always be on guard because of the constant temptations presented by the world, the flesh, and the devil. But to do this we need the Holy Spirit's help; without him we can do nothing. Thankfully, the needed self-control is a fruit of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23) which is acquired by submission to the Spirit (Gal. 5:16). But before we get a wrong understanding, we must understand that submission to the Spirit includes a change in our thoughts and actions. Otherwise we are not truly submitted to the changes he seeks to make.